The weird workplaceWanted: Executioners; Hopping mad; Looking for a f*****g job?; Nice guys finish last; Don't count your chickens…06/15/2015|Canadian HR Reporter|Last Updated: 06/15/2015 Looking for a f*****g job?CLARKSTON, SCOTLAND — An employer in Scotland made waves recently when he posted an online ad for a cook with the title: “Looking for someone fast, progressive and not a total **** for a new restaurant.” Justin Valmassoi went on to say he needed someone “to bang out a ton of semi-fancy food in a kitchen the size of a closet, and you also have to put up with my wife because I do and she’s the real boss.” The ad told people not to bother if they weren’t the right candidate: “Seriously. Last time I was hiring for a place I got over 400 CVs. You know how long it takes to read 400 CVs? Too f*cking long.” As for compensation? “The money is sh*t. It’s £7/hour and a cut of the tips… Don’t come to an interview and then say it sounds great but you’ve got your kid’s school clothes to buy or whatever. I don’t care. There’s no money.” Valmassoi also said the person could be “super outgoing or actually mute” and should only send a real cover letter: “If you have one that says you’re a ‘hard-working team player that can also function well alone’ and that you ‘value customer service and punctuality,’ I will stab myself in the face with a pencil and nobody will get a job.” To Read the Full Story, Subscribe or Sign In Remember Me Forgot Password If you are a current Subscriber, please click here to set-up or update your login information.