In wake of #MeToo movement, workplace relationships look more precarious than ever
It could be a subdued Valentine’s Day at the office this year.
The explosion of workplace sexual harassment claims in recent months has thrust workplace relationships into the spotlight, spurring caution in terms of male-female interactions, according to experts.
And while cookie-grams and candy-grams will still be swapped between colleagues on Feb. 14, flirtatious messages should not be included, said Stuart Rudner, employment lawyer at Rudner Law in Toronto.
“It can be a great boost to employee morale, but I’m sure we’ve all seen it where a manager sends a cookie-gram to a subordinate with a heart on the card, and they don’t know how to take that,” he said.
“You’ve got to keep it professional. If you’re going to send a cookie, card, whatever, keep it professional. Don’t put yourself in a position where your conduct can either be misconstrued, or where allegations can be made against you and you have no way to defend yourself.”
Managing relationships
When it comes to romantic relationships between colleagues, HR has typically been slow to step in, said Jennifer Corbett, associate at Samfiru Tumarkin in Toronto.
“It’s very personal and it can be awkward,” she said, noting companywide no-dating policies remain “unrealistic, archaic and very rare.”
But both the #MeToo movement and legislative updates are forcing employers to be more proactive, said Corbett.
“I think there will be a growing trend of having policies that directly address a ban on subordinate-superior relationships, or where any conflict of interest could arise,” she said.
“Overall, it’s probably not a good idea, from a manager’s perspective, to engage in any sort of relations or appearance of this sort of flirtation… because of the fallout it could bring to the company.”
Workplace culture needs to be carefully construed to promote respect and equality among colleagues, said Lew Bayer, a civility expert in Winnipeg.
When developed properly, trust is established naturally. Safe social environments, such as an employee lunchroom, are also created where innocuous comments are not perceived as sexist, she said.
Yet regardless of a solid workplace culture, managerial feedback on personal issues is out of line, said Bayer.
“What does how someone’s pants fit, or how much weight they’ve lost, have to do with their competency?” she said. “How is it relevant to the workplace? If it doesn’t relate to the job at hand or competency, why is it crossing our minds, regardless of who we’re talking to?”
“Everyone in every situation should get exactly the same respect and consideration,” said Bayer. “If we could teach that attitude, we’d have significantly less bullying and harassment and miscommunication in general.”
“Fearfulness and inequality in many shapes and forms is rampant in the workplace… Incivility is an epidemic. The focus is on men-versus-women harassment at present, but the underlying issue is no different than 15 years ago when there was a focus on cultural diversity, or seven years ago when there was a focus on gender.”
Legal issues
If an organization was to implement a dating ban, the focus would likely be on superior-subordinate relationships, with a policy breach resulting in just cause for termination, said Corbett.
“Most companies might implement progressive discipline just to be safe because terminating for cause is a very high threshold for employers,” she said. “If there is a full-out ban, it’s about disclosure and being upfront with the employer.”
Harassment charges most often are levied on the basis of power imbalances once relationships go afoul, as relationships between managers and direct reports are never viewed objectively as consensual, said Corbett.
“Even if it was found to be consensual, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”
Therefore, proactive transparency is critical, “because the fallout can outweigh a lot of things,” she said.
The policy should detail what constitutes inappropriate behaviour alongside reporting procedures, and should be paired with consistent enforcement — such as moving a direct report to another manager or department in order to accommodate a romantic relationship, said Corbett.
But blanket non-fraternization policies should be a non-starter for employers, said Rudner.
“First of all, there’s really no reason for it and, second of all, it’s going to be impossible to enforce,” he said. “I don’t think that you could fire somebody for cause — for breach of policy because they were in a relationship — if there was no other concern.”
“There’s nothing inherently wrong with two employees having a relationship, whether it’s romantic, physical, friendly or even parent-child, for that matter,” said Rudner. “There’s nothing wrong with that relationship in and of itself. But if it creates conflicts of interest or other issues, then obviously you have to deal with those. That’s usually the focus.”
Non-romantic relationships
It remains to be seen how the fallout of the #MeToo movement will affect non-romantic personal relationships between colleagues.
At present, 45 per cent of male managers said they are uncomfortable participating in common work activities with a woman, such as mentoring, working alone or socializing together, according to a survey of 2,950 Americans, conducted in January by the Lean In Foundation — a non-profit dedicated to women’s leadership.
“I don’t know that we’re quite at that point, but I think there definitely is need to ensure that there is consent,” said Rudner. “You’ve got be very cautious in the age of #MeToo.”
“It’s great on the one hand that people are now less scared to come forward with concerns about harassment but, at the same time, it is subject to abuse or misinterpretation,” he said. “So if there is any concern — I’m not saying every meeting has to be open-door — but maybe try to avoid having the one-on-one meetings with someone where you’re not quite sure. Have a third person there, even if you’re just going out for lunch. Don’t always invite the same person out for lunch. Invite different people or a group of people.”
Employers should be aware that a strong anti-harassment policy is required by law, with clear reporting requirements and mechanisms, said Rudner.
In addition, policy should enforce disclosures of conflicts of interest, even if they are simply perceived ones. Essentially, employers should focus on minimizing the disruptive impacts of interpersonal relationships within the workplace, he said.
No matter what rank or position, it is an employee’s moral obligation to ease the experience of others at work, said Bayer, and HR practitioners need to spend time crafting thoughtful policy, then find the courage to follow through on potential repercussions.
