People with autism just need time to adapt – and then they’ll knock your socks off
One of the clues that I may be on the autism spectrum was when I was watching a TV drama about a young man who wasn’t getting along with kids at school.
As they were investigating the kid, it became apparent he watched movies and was mimicking the behaviour of people in the shows.
He was studying these movies to understand how people communicate and try to be normal. They said he was autistic and suddenly the premise of the investigation changed — they weren’t looking for a threat, they were looking for a potential victim.
I don’t remember much of the show, but that one point stood out and I researched it. It turns out that it isn’t uncommon for high-functioning autistic types to study behaviour to try and understand what people see and try to fit in.
They are sorely aware that they are different — not “normal” — and want so desperately to be like everyone else that they go through a process of study, observation and application. Essentially, they do what autistics do best.
I did this. All my life, I have studied, observed and applied. I always thought I was just an avid people watcher. I have always been fascinated with what people might be feeling based on their behaviour, body language or what they said. I have been told that I am very empathic and intuitive. I was always confused by this — to me, I was just connecting dots, doing math.
It isn’t that I am intuitive or have special empathy, it is more like a database of social interactions. I have millions of data points where, based on observation and attention to detail, the points just add up.
“These words plus these facial expressions, multiplied by body language X and Y, equals this outcome with a probability of this percentage. Response should be with these words, with this body language and this level of physical connection. Outcome of said response has a probability of acceptance of this percentage. Engage.”
People with autism aren’t socially incompetent, we are just socially unaware. We know there is something going on that we miss, so we try to discover it using the scientific method that comes naturally to us. To become aware, we use our super powers of observation, analysis, strategic planning and math.
We can do the math quickly because we also retain a lot of information. We make connections and draw conclusions based on all of that data. We can typically see potential outcomes but, as always, humans are unreliable. This confuses us — the math doesn’t always add up.
First day on the job
The problem we have is new situations, like a new job. We know we come across as strange and don’t quite “jive” with the rest of the group. We prepare for this.
We know we make mistakes and misinterpret situations and events. We err on the side of being friendly and trusting people, even though we know deep down it will wreck us emotionally when we discover our error. We are also not robots — we actually feel intensely, so betrayal and sudden counter-information is a shock, a deep, scarring, emotional shock to us.
An “Aspie” can adapt to new situations, but we need to establish the data points. We act, function and make decisions based on previous data. In a new company or a new situation, we rely on the data until we have to adjust.
The problem in the workforce is that businesses, especially in this day and age of near hysterical political correctness, don’t or can’t afford to allow people on the autism spectrum to make mistakes. We have to recalibrate our data, we have to be able to make mistakes without having an immediate investigation or firing.
Often, it is a misunderstanding, mostly by us being unaware but also by the new coworkers because we don’t fit in.
This is why it is difficult for people with autism to keep jobs. This is why it is terrifying to change jobs. This is also why we don’t tell our coworkers that we have autism, typically. We are either ostracized or treated as invalids — or both.
Even writing this article terrifies me because I rarely ever had a good experience in a large company even before I knew I was on the spectrum. My fear is that outing myself will prevent me from achieving what my drive and innate abilities can accomplish. We all fear this.
Companies that want to hire people with autism need to understand this principle. We can’t be hired and dropped into the general population and expected to flourish without some assistance. We need time to adapt. We need a plan and we need a manager — an advocate — who understands that we are adapting but also help us understand how better to adapt.
We don’t need babysitting and protecting, we are fine with making mistakes if we feel safe — that helps us with the math. We know we will require a little more attention than others, usually, but once we know our lanes and we have our data points set, we can be trusted to be left alone to do the work and do it well.
There is a lot more I can say on this, but in the meantime, do more than say you want diversity. To harness the power that a person with autism brings to the table, create an environment and find your autism whisperers. Eventually, you will have a loyal tribe of social mathematicians who will knock your socks off.
Rick Jacobs is a learning strategist, leader and mentor and founder of Quantum Knowledge Strategic Solutions in Phoenix, Ariz. For more information, visit www.rickjacobs.com.
