How to communicate with emotional employees

This article was produced in collaboration with Workplace Strategies for Mental Health.

The pandemic saw a huge rise in mental health concerns as people endured a very uncertain environment for more than two years.

Numerous surveys highlighted rising levels of anxiety and depression, but even as the pandemic subsides, emotions can still run high. Whether it’s talk of a recession, a higher cost of living or elderly parents needing care, employees each face their own struggles.

Often these stresses spill into the workplace, leading to serious issues such as lower productivity, conflicts with colleagues or errors with work.

Listening for understanding

When someone is emotionally distressed, it pays to listen. Actively listening to understand their perspective can be a great first step to diffusing tensions.

This can help leaders avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about what someone is experiencing — and making the situation worse.

Even if the employee’s perspective seems unrealistic, once the leader knows what it is, they’re in a much better position to have an effective discussion with the emotional individual.

Seek clarification to ensure your understanding of their perspective is correct. This can include being comfortable with silence (as the person may be unable to convey their struggles), keeping your mind open and curious, asking if you heard them correctly, putting understanding ahead of solutions, watching your body language, and discussing potential solutions.

Effective communications

Effective communication involves clarity and collaboration. When employees are dealing with health or life stressors, it’s even more important for communication to be psychologically safe.

There are several additional techniques that enable leaders to carry on a conversation more effectively with an employee in need. These include:

Engage the employee to focus on solutions so they can do their job well: People are much more likely to commit to long-term outcomes when they take the lead in developing solutions. Try to build trust with the person, and make sure you have an exchange rather than a monologue, with a clear outcome from the conversation.

Choose the most effective communication style: Understand the communication style of the person you are engaging with, depending on how comfortable, confident or defensive they feel — it may be assertive, aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive. While assertive communication techniques cannot always guarantee positive reactions, they are usually more effective in the long run. 

Prevent triggering when giving negative feedback: Provide an opportunity for employees to speak up before a situation becomes a crisis. Avoid blaming or shaming, and before you say no, ask why. Give critiques in a positive, constructive way to reduce negative responses — and learn how to respond if someone reacts with emotions such as crying or whining.

For further information, be sure to check out Listening to understand for leaders.